Us against the world

Hoping that it will just be you and me,Sharing the fallacies of our past,Gazing the distant stars , the warming eyes of each other. We will have friends who will love us. We will be partying at their events, sometime together sometimes apart. But when the clock will strike some loving hours, i’ll be wrapped around your warm arms and you’ll be smelling my vanilla wash to sleep.

Praying to exchange our secrets over my favourite cardamom tea and your english breakfast. I will share how i was misguided and you will share how you were blinded by the lights. And i will weep or you will weep, maybe we both will wet each others sleeves. I am a lightweight so i’ll drink and probably speak indistinguishable , and i’ll be a mess but you’ll find it amusing. And you might have a crazy high scaring me to death but we’ll laugh it off in a warm shower.

Wishing that at nights of our fights we won’t have to sleep alone , instead i’ll just close the distance and put silent whispers in your ears or you’ll just brush away that tiny drop of my tear. It will be us against the universe and not against one another. You will not care about me being dramatic and needy and mind you, i will always be this attention seeking person. And i’ll not mind when you will be cold and rude but then later give me a goofy smile after i get frustrated.

Dreaming that when you say i am busy over a call , i can puff up my cheeks once in a while and you’ll ask “dinner tonight?”. Being understanding the other times. And when i’ll just bang the door of our space on your face you’ll say “well i was thinking about pasta and some midnight romance”. When i’ll crib about how my parents don’t understand you’ll ask my mom for a visit. And when you will be mad at your’s for not understanding your crazy busy , i’ll keep them busy and entertained.

Yearning that when you are not with me and in some teenage nostalgia i tell you what a broken and selfish person i used to be ,you’ll write back a heartwarming note saying but that’s not my baby anymore. You’ll make me strong when i decide it’s the time to be weak . And when you’ll say how many wrongdoings you have done, or how many girls you have dated. How your friends betrayed , or how many times you failed. Maybe you will also tell me about all those people you have hurt and i’ll just hug you warmly and say ,it’s in the past and i know my man is perfection of some crazy flaws. Your flaws make you mine and beautiful.

Caring that when you’ll be ambitious , i’ll make the morning tea. And when i’ll be romantic you’ll order some red velvet. We will build each other. And we will build an empire. Because when you’ll care about winning the world, i’ll care about you. And when i’ll be furious at my work and friends you’ll kiss me to shut up. I won’t probably shut up but still it will be worth a try.
Maybe we will be really different, maybe we will have a lot in common. Maybe we will fight a lot. Maybe we will make love all day. It’s possible that i’ll be a bitch and you’ll be a crazy egotist. I might shout and you might say words that cut me. I can call you a hundred times and be jealous cause’ my man is so handsome. And you’ll cut my calls or maybe shout back once in while. But like i said it will be you and me fighting the universe . And when we will meet i’ll give you short hugs and you’ll buy me flowers. 

Scared that maybe we will have to tell each other about our deepest thoughts.But i’ll do that i’ll tell you about the boy i loved first. Yes , that one. And why i was selfish and broken and why i hurt him so much. And maybe you’ll tell me about the girl who hurt you and how much you cared about her. The one whom you expected to be in place of me once upon a time. And How you are glad that she is not. or maybe not.

Just maybe, maybe not.

And i’ll kiss your jaw and you’ll hug me in the sun. Curly hair of mine sticking to your linen shirts. And that will be it. Us against the world. 

:p Picture isn’t something i clicked obviously.

Feeling lost

Have you ever felt lost? 

I am sure you have. People feel lost often . Sometimes for a few minutes or days and sometimes maybe months. Years. The thing is being lost is not all that bad. It’s natural human nature to scrounge for the soul’s appetite. What matters is how long can you hold yourself together for that lost period. And if you feel you are losing that leash over yourself completely and just one more fall in your life is going to take you down. Then my dear, it’s going to affect your mental health terribly. 

I won’t deny that i feel i am lost. That i think i am lonely and nobody is here to rescue me. In movies there are those cute guys with goofy grins who help you pass put of that phase of depression. And in stories you read about those amazing friends who take you on a roadtrip when you are low on life. But reality is far astray. No one actually comes to help you. If people think you are upset they are not going to come and give you the medicine of peace . They might help you for like 10 days and then they will give up. Nobody is going to come and hold you when you are breaking down. Infact everyone will be busy sorting their own messes to care . 

I know this is too harsh to accept but then it’s the truth . So what are we supposed to do? Give in to the feeling. Let it kill us slowly with the emotional pain!? Let the amount of love and effort our parents put in to bring us in this world go vain?

Ofcourse not! right? I mean how can we lose. Our race is the strongest in this universe. Our destinies are more or less made than written. So when the time comes, when you feel you are breaking down. Set the sails high. Pull yourself together. Steer clear of every negative person in your life. Because that thought of being lost will hang around your neck like an albatross as long as you give it the chance to. Read . Write. Talk to your parents. And i know i did say that people are not available always but those who care might take out some time to talk to us. Talk to them. Pray. Because there is no amount of positive energy that will course in your veins  greater than the one that comes through praying. Remember that the night is always the darkest before the beauty of the cascading dawn. Remember that the crawling caterpillar finally flies one day. Go out on self dates. Help the poor. Help yourself by allowing your heart to be busy in loving the underpriviliged. Eat healthy. Learn to cook. Get an ambition. A desire like the one those kids in nursery have . Take a stroll on a serene beach. Paint. Do not just give up and be upset about your monotonous life. Because it’s going to get better only If you feel it will. Breathe the morning air. Stop snoozing your alarm. Talk to yourself every night and thank your soul for not giving up.

Just like a single star in this vivid universe has the power to collapse into a gargantua and  swallow a lot of things that matter in it. Just like that tiny star comapared to this cosmos has the power to consummate it . So do you. With the power to move this world. Just hang on.